The 40 Year Old Domestic Goddess

Mummy's Little Helper

written by The 40-year-old domestic goddess

  1. #homework
  2. #gandt
  3. #parent
  4. #parenting
  5. #teenagers

I made a fatal error when having my children.

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I don't mean a fatal error in actually having them but the timings of it all. Why didn't I think ahead instead of just "Oh I know.....Lets have another baby". The age gap between The Female and Male Teenager is exactly 3 years and 6 months. Now, I know that it seems the perfect distance between them but let me tell you something.....IT’S NOT !!

I say this because at this present moment in time, I have 2 very stressed out kids, this is due to the fact that The Female Teenager is about to take her ‘A’ Level exams and The Male one, is doing his end of Year 9 exams/assessments and choosing his Options.

Now, if you do the maths you will see that.....

2 x Kids (each needing help with revision)

  • 1 Mummy (who is now an expert in Prime numbers and the genetic structure of our DNA ) / Housework, ironing, cooking, dinner and dog walking
  • My Marbles
    = Mummy needing Gin & Tonic a lot earlier than usual.
Gin and Tonic O'Clock

By the time The Husband gets home from work I am wearing a kind of glazed look (Oh no, wait a minute, that's because I am drunk).

The kids by this time are happily getting ready for bed feeling pleased with themselves for revising (well The Female is, The Male couldn't give a hoot) and I am still seeing Prime Numbers, Nouns and DNA pictures floating past my eyes.

Algebra

I have to say in true genetic fashion, that The Female, being a girl, is amazing at revision and has covered her room with little yellow post it notes so that she can go to sleep surrounded by her thoughts. The Male, on the other hand being a boy, has to be drugged, dragged, kicking and screaming to get any revision done. His idea of revising is 2.5 minutes skimming over his book, then announcing that he’s done and its not his fault he doesn't like revising as "I am Mum, DONT forget.....A BOY".

The Female has a beautiful pencil case filled with everything needed for the exams.....The Male, has a crappy stumpy pencil in his trouser pocket and an eraser in the other one.

Pencil Case

It has to be said that being a stay at home mum, has slightly fuddled my once very active brain and suddenly being faced with ‘A’ Level and GCSE revision books, was quite frankly, sodding scary. I don't remember all this stuff when I did Biology, all I remember is being totally grossed out when our teacher used to bring in dead things for us to dissect, I used to wonder if she got up an extra hour early to look along the roadside for dead creatures or if she had actually bred these things for dissection and then, on the morning of the lesson, smacked them over the head with a blunt instrument and packed them up for us. Either way, it was gross!!

Anyway, my fuddled brain is actually stirring and I can feel it gently waking up and actually understanding some of this stuff......Until yesterday, I had no idea that we had 23 pairs of chromosomes, the only thing concerning pairs that I knew, was that I had 23 pairs of shoes.

So onwards and upwards I must go and embrace the whole revision/torture sessions, I am having to partake in. I will get them through this and I will look composed and calm throughout this process. Tonight however is Physics and English and I am not sure if I will have a clue what they are talking about.

Never mind with the power of Gin & Tonic I can get through anything, whether I will still be awake at the end of it is a whole other issue.

Lots of Love Me xxx

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