Next April sees me and Greg celebrate our 10-year anniversary.
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I think back and a lot has happened in those 10 years;
4 houses. 4 cats. 4 hamsters. 6 fish. 3 holidays. 1 proposal in the Caribbean. 1 suspected miscarriage. 2 pregnancies. 2 children. 2 x PND diagnosis.
Harlow is three months old, and Elijah has just turned three and already we have been asked if we are having any more children. I looked at Greg and he looked at me we both burst out laughing, and when the giggles subside, we both very seriously and firmly stated NO. In three years we have probably, as parents, been through more than most, with our first son needing open heart surgery at 6 months old. It was a trying time, and one that we really did have to consider when we decided to try for another baby.
My pregnancy with Harlow wasn’t very enjoyable and I suffered from depression towards the end. Greg used to joke about ‘getting the snip’, and I never really took much notice of it. Then as we were nearing my due date it got a bit more serious as we found ourselves really considering it. I didn’t want to go on the pill after the birth as it doesn’t agree with me, and I knew deep down that this was my last pregnancy.
To begin with I was quite sad thinking we wouldn’t have any more children. But, I knew I couldn’t be pregnant again, I physically and mentally couldn’t go through it again. I saw how Elijah was affected when I was pregnant and how hard it was. I couldn’t be pregnant again with two children already.
Before Harlow was born, I agreed with Greg that he would have a vasectomy. There is something a bit odd knowing that you will not be able to have any more children (obviously it can be reversed but we are taking this as a permeant fix) but it will be best for the family. We always said that when the boys are at school and we have bought our amazing mansion, that we would consider fostering, or adoption but I am happy with the decision knowing that I will not carry any more children.
For this type of thing you must be on the same page. It is not the sort of thing to be taken lightly, and resentment and longing for something that you can’t have could rip a relationship apart. It isn’t the norm to talk about the fact you do not want any more children. Once you have one it appears, it is expected, that you churn them out every 3 years or so, until you have enough members for a sports team. Then, when you do say that you are not having any more, you are not taken seriously and they laugh saying "oh wait and see".
Do I feel guilty that Greg has to have surgery on his nether regions? Well, after being pregnant for a total of 18 months, giving birth twice and sustaining a 3a tear, what do you think?!
Plus, he will milk it for all it is worth and make me and the kids wait on him hand and foot, I am sure he will be fine.