4 reasons your child is a diva

…written by Up All Hours

  1. #children
  2. #parenthood
  3. #diva
  4. #tantrums
  5. #boys
  6. #girls

Mother to one little Boy, Caliegh has discovered that boys are often the biggest diva's. When the doctor told me I was having a boy, I’ll admit to feeling a little relief. Girls are high maintenance, right? Boys are far less demanding, I thought. No tantrums, attention seeking and melodrama.

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I was wrong.

That deserves its own line. Frankly, it serves me right for engaging in such outrageous gender stereotyping. All children are divas in their own special ways. If your average celebrity tried this kind of behaviour, they’d never work again, yet our children take it in their strides. Maybe you recognise a few of these behaviours from your own prima donna? 5 reasons your child is a diva

1. Countless outfit changes.

There are days when your child will change clothes more often than an Oscars host. No wonder we’re constantly doing laundry! Ok, so the changes are largely due to food, dribble and other bodily fluids, but still, four outfits a day is excessive. While we’re on the subject of clothes, some kids could give Lady Gaga a run for her money. I wouldn’t dare go out in Snoopy pyjamas, tap shoes and Wonder Woman cape, but I know some 4 year olds who definitely rock that look!

Diva

2. Extensive hospitality riders.

It’s rumoured that Led Zeplin’s rider required a bowl of M&Ms with the brown ones removed. That’s nothing! My niece will only eat her grandma’s lasagne and spots imitations from across the kitchen. Some kids won’t eat their dinner if the food on the plate is touching, others won’t eat anything green. My friend’s son refuses to eat mashed potatoes, but he’ll gobble down olives, marmite on toast and prawn crackers!

3. Unrealistic demands.

Things have to be just so, or else. On cold days, my friend’s son would request that his baby wipes be warmed before a nappy change. Another friend’s daughter insists on warm milk and you have to heat it up again mid-way through the feed or she’ll refuse it. My wee X has a grump if I use the wrong spoon to feed him. Honestly, how dare we attempt to simplify our days by inconveniencing our little divas so much?!

4. Tantrums.

Not just your common or garden temper, we’re talking fist-flailing-foot-stamping-red-faced-and-screaming tantrums. The sort your child usually saves for a busy Saturday in Tesco. Other (slightly more tame) examples include spitting unwanted medicine in your face, throwing food on the floor because they don’t like it and slamming doors. I’ll bet you thought you wouldn’t see this sort of thing until adolescence hits. Sorry, the histrionics start around 12 years sooner than that.

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