Mrs Mullen

Mrs Mullen is talking tits!

written by Mrs Mullen

  1. #wangers
  2. #waltermitties
  3. #boobs
  4. #breastfeeding
  5. #weaning
  6. #imperfect parent
  7. #feeding
  8. #breast feeding
  9. #bottle feeding

So... The breastfeeding debate. I can actually hear people’s heckles rising at the mere mention. I saw a post not so long ago titled something along the lines of ‘Upsetting Breast feeders’...needless to say because I quite like the craic of the Twitterer who posted it, I didn’t read any further in fear I went off them! It’s such an emotive subject, I believe a lot of people think their personal views are right (wrongly!) and can become really passionate (arsey) about the whole thing!

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I hate how people feel bullied into breastfeeding. On the other hand I can also understand how overly passionate people can get about its amazingness. At the end of the day, we’re all mothers /carers/ parents. Support each other, stop with the bloody shaming.

It’s really getting on my tits!!!

There are a few statements that always pop up on the breastfeeding debate;

1) I tried!

2) I didn’t want to!

3) I did it!

4) I’m still at it!

Each person’s journey from new born, to weaning, is completely different. Each person goes with their gut instinct at the end of the day. They go with what works for them and most importantly, what works for their little ones.

Breast not get involved the feeding debate

I knew a girl whose mother was a Health Visitor. Said mother, was all too keen to have her grandchildren on the breast as quickly as possible, constantly spouting stats and facts. From peeing on the pregnancy stick said girl, felt the pressure to do what other people were telling her. I think she ended up in the ‘I tried’ camp. In my humble understanding of people, if you pressurise someone to do something it usually goes one of 2 ways – they do it, under duress and end up failing, because they’re trying miserably to please other people when they themselves really don’t want to do it. Or, they dig their heels in and point blank refuse to be pushed into anything. Thus resulting all parties ending up miffed. Obviously, that’s quite a sweeping statement and doesn’t apply to everyone, but I’ll bet there are a few people nodding their heads furiously as they read this.

Now, some of my oldest and bestest, friends in the whole wide world didn’t even entertain the idea of breastfeeding. Didn’t want to. Simple. I am so proud to say they didn’t feel guilty about it either. I hate how women are supposed to feel guilty because they chose not to breastfeed.

Breast or Bottle? Who cares?!

They are feeding and caring for their child. End of. But as a breast feeder myself, the only thing that annoys me about bottle feeding is, people will coo and aww over a baby who is whole heartedly enjoying and tucking right into their 8oz bottle of Cow & Gate. However, if you spot a little one being enthusiastic over their boob, you can see people trying to look the other way...

Tits, boob, bangers, wangers, the twins, whatever you call them, are in fact, on every other person (without stating the obvious haha). People will happily stare at them in the name of art or comedy. Gawd, even the horror genre has made claim on gratuitous tits on show. Yet hoy a kid on them and everyone blushes! Hahaha! What’s that about?!

Then there’s the ‘I did it’ group. Little pat on the back, well done love. However. That’s what they’re designed for. Yes it’s hard. But so is bottle feeding. Being a parent is hard. Period. Breastfeeding doesn’t make you a better parent or person, nor does it make you saintly,contrary to what some people seem to believe. You have a baby, you produce milk. You either utilise it or you don’t. Breast feeding a child doesn’t make people holier than though. The self righteous feeders, piss other breast feeders off in all honesty, (again speaking personally – I don’t fancy my heed knocked off when I pass a gaggle of gals with their wangers out at a breastfeeding coffee shop, so no offence intended, if any was taken...)

I reckon, now I’ve come to think about it, there are actually 4 types of ‘I did it’ groups:

i) I did it... and? (Some people actually breeze it from start to finish believe it or not – lucky bastards)

ii) I did it and I struggled but, I got there in the end!

iii) I did it and feel it’s my duty to shout how amazing the whole experience was! (Nobody likes these people – just shut up already)

iv) And finally, the gals who sometimes smugly or surprisingly admit ‘I’m still at it’ (even though at the beginning they didn’t make it through the first fortnight).

I say admit, sadly, because that is sometimes how people feel. Initially people are patted on the back for perseverance for nearing the 6 month stage or when baby has teeth... The faces people pull when they realise a girl is still breastfeeding a teething baby, priceless. MasterCard couldn’t cover it ;) Then there’s those who hushes voice and checks over each shoulder breastfeed passed not only 6 months but a whole year or more!!! It’s like their dirty secret, they mightn’t even admit to their nearest and dearest...

Breast feeding for as long as they want it

I stand here now and say I am one of those girls.

Our youngest child is 3 in May and still has a bit of boob. As long as she wants it, she can have it in my book. Though admittedly when she’s woken me up in the middle of the night recently I’ve told her that booby is asleep until the sun comes up... shameful mammy face There’ll be folk reading this who will be absolutely bloody horrified. Sorry to offend! Ha! EEE there’ll be folk in the school yard eyeballing me from now on in expecting me to be on some far out documentary about extreme breastfeeding... I’m already pre- empting the conversation with people on Facebook who’ve seen this post and knew me at school, or when I was a teen or in my twenties partying hard. Quite a different lass now though, 4 kids deep, mortgage and a whole different set of priorities...

There’ll be the usual – ‘For whose benefit is that? That’s more for you than her!’ Or ‘Don’t you think she’s too big for all that now?’ I find the worst is the look of disgust and ‘It’s not for me like...’ (I put like on the end of that sentence as well, we all do up here, like!)

Please note, all quotation in my posts are in a Northern / Geordie accent

To answer those questions, my child benefits from breastmilk and she finds great comfort from the whole experience. Would you look at a parent with the same distain if their 2.5year old has a dummy, a bottle, or a cup of milk, to go to bed with? No. No you wouldn’t. And, is it wrong that we still engage like this? Explain to me why some people think that this is wrong? I don’t shout it from the roof top. This is just part of our night time routine, and slowly but surely it is becoming less and less. But I’m allowing my child to lead on this. And I honestly feel that I’m doing what is right by her. Nothing is being rushed, nobody is being deprived, and we’re going with our gut... I honestly believe that there will people (some friends included) who will be surprised by this revelation or that I’ve posted this on the World Wide Web. Apologies if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I didn’t write this to shame or embarrass anyone nor for a pat on the back. I don’t need reassurance what I’m doing is right or wrong.

I suppose I wrote this to say every mother is different, as is their child and feeding experience. Some people have the bottles sterilised and put away as soon as their little one as much as looks at a cup. I know girls who still let their 5 year olds enjoy a bottle of warm milk for breakfast. Just because there’s a latest craze and fad or a new paper is published, it doesn’t mean we must blindly follow ‘guidelines’. Go with your gut. If you and your little ones are happy and healthy and it’s not hurting anyone – go for it.

Fun bags bring comfort to people. End of. Period. They’re ours and we should use them as we see fit (.)(.)

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