A Fathers honest poem to his 2 year old son!

…written by Up All Hours

  1. #father
  2. #dad
  3. #fathers day
  4. #real life
  5. #imperfect parent
  6. #love
  7. #family
  8. #poem
  9. #2 year old
  10. #parenting

We all know that being parent isn't always easy. You don't sail through every day with a content smile on your face, smelling of roses! One Father in the Up All Hours Team captures life with a two year old pretty perfectly in our book.

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To mark Father's Day, enjoy a Fathers honest poem to his 2 year old son. Honest, frank and we think, quite touching.


Baby B is a beautiful boy.

He’s smart, he’s chatty but can sometimes annoy,

His personality is funny, he makes us laugh, he has a meltdown when we mention bath,

We love our boy, he’s always happy, meltdown explosion when we change his nappy,

We’re going out, put on your shoes, here we go with the meltdown blues,

I loved it when he first said Daddy, it made me proud and so, so happy,

Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy,

I feel so guilty and I really ought-a, my name is now like water torture,

Yes Baby B, what do you need, Daddy Daddy Daaaaaaaad-deee,

Baby B we have to go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

What have I told you, you do not say no,

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Please eat that you loved it yesterday, ‘Did I? Oh well that was yesterday,

haven’t you heard of the ‘Terrible Twos’? They stress, and test, and infuriate you,

Allow me to explain, where do I begin, how bout toys thrown at your shin,

And see that ear that’s on that dog, it’ soft and fluffy so, er, hello, of course I’ll try and yank it off,

And nappy changes I’d rather pass, and what’s with that ton of cream across my arse,

Try and understand my bum might be sore, as in the past it’s been red raw,

So I’m sorry that I don’t get happy, when you shout ‘woohoo, let’s change your nappy’

As if it’s some kind of great adventure, like going to a soft play centre,

and excuse me if I’m not being fair, but when was the last time we went there?,

I don’t know what shifts the staff do but, it can’t be much cause it’s always shut,

I hate long journeys when the traffics slow, and that’s why I say no, no, no.

And besides mostly when the journey’s done, we’ve been shopping and we’ve had no fun,

And then you wonder why I’m such a grouch, get bored and crayon all over the couch,

If you really want me to stay calm,

take me over to Jimmy’s Farm,

I’ll put on my shoes, I’ll allow the socks,

if we can see some cows and nice peacocks,

And why would I ever want to nap at one, and miss out on all the fun,

I know you don’t like it when I say ‘I want it’,

But I’ve never seen it before and I just can’t help it,

I’m teething and just got my first molar, I want the Sky remote controller,

And I don’t want the one you stole from a hotel, that lives with the toys and does eft all,

So Mummy and Daddy please understand, it really is all out of my hands,

It’s neuroscience and brain cognition, and not a terrible strange condition,

I’m not an expert but please don’t get ‘vexed’, it’s all about the brain cortex’!

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